Awkward Moments, Part I

I am starting a new column entitled "Awkward Moments." I figure we all have them, and some of us have them everyday. So why not share them with each other, to brighten each other's day, and make us all feel better about the stupid things that we do? So here is my Awkward Moment for the day. I was coming home from the temple this evening, and beings how I had skipped two meals my blood sugar was pretty low and I was in the Craving Mode. You know, where you have to have a piece of key lime pie, and you have to have it 10 minutes ago? So I walk into the store in my Sunday dress, nylons and such, but no sooner do I get into the store when I realize that my left thigh high nylon was riding pretty low. Hmmmm.... what can I do about that in public? I can't very well reach up my skirt and pull it back to the top of my thigh. But clearly it is riding pretty low, almost to my knee top, so I go to an aisle where there aren't any other shoppers. Yes, I reached up and pulled the thigh high back in place. Whew! I continue to shop. Gotta have that key lime pie. Oh oh, it is slipping again. I go to another aisle that is empty. Reach up and pull it up again. Now I realize that I have got to get out of the store and just get to my car without any public embarrassments. I take a few more steps and can feel the darn thing below my knee. Pretty soon it's going to be down around my ankle. So I pick the longest line so I have plenty of time to think this through clearly. Now I am surrounded by other shoppers and I know I can't reach up and adjust. But I know that after I pay for my groceries and start walking to my car the sock will be quite embarrassingly noticeable and I will look like a fool. So I make a quick decision while paying for the groceries. There is only one thing to do, and this is my last chance. I reach up and pull it off completely, stuff it into my purse, while looking at the clerk. She looks at me with a strange look, to which I reply, "Those darn thigh highs! I lost one again!" She laughed hysterically and I walked out of the store, one sock on, one sock off!